Pro-Egalitarian

Clothes don't cause rape, rapists do!

The title of this post is Amanda Marcotte's words in Sluts, Walking (Bussel, 2012: 1-7) as she explains, to drive the point of 'SlutWalks' home. Mid-2011 several SlutWalks were held globally to counter Michael Sanguinetti's advice to women to avoid being raped by not "dressing like sluts". In contrast, women (should) have the right "to do what they want without being punished" (p. 3) through methods "of putting women in their place".

• Women do have the right (place) to "sexual playfulness in the public space" (p. 4)
• Women have the right to expect "If I am out on the town wearing a cute minidress, I expect that I'll get a lot of indifference, some men thinking I look good, some men thinking that I want to be attractive, some men thinking I enjoy feeling sexy, some men flirting--and some men thinking, 'I wouldn't wear those shoes with that dress'. I expect men to be. Happy they live in a world where people have fun and exude sexual enrgy, because I believe sex is pleasurable and good and that a little more sexual in energy in the world tends to improve the fun we have at home." (p. 5)
• Women have the right to expect that when a man thinks she is sexy, the man would not degrade and devalue her -- if he does, "he is the one who has forfeited his right to be treated with respect, not the woman he claims that provoked him" (p. 6).
• Women have the right to expect "when a man flouts the rules of morality and decency and harass or assaults a women" (p. 6), such as man is treated "like the raving douchebag he is, and bring criminal charges where applicable".

Marcotte concludes that "all SlutWalk is asking is that the same opportunities be offered to women" (p. 7).

Marcotte, M. 2012. Sluts, Walking. In Rachel Kramer Bussel (ed). 2012. Best sex writing 2012 -- the state of today's sexual culture. Berkley, CA: Cleis Press.

Why are the criteria for women often roomier than for men?

Wherein is the 'equality' vested if women often need to out perform and out smart men just to be regarded equal? Published poet S'kho Mkwanazi is reported to remark "Men have a natual, God-given power. For me as a women to have a voice, I must have a PhD, but a man doesn't have to have anything". Download A_change_in_mentality_Getting_Ahead_supplement_MG_28Jan_3Feb2011

The South African public Higher Education enrollments for 2009, reflected below, comprised 59.1% women (478 112 of 837 611) and 42.9% men (359 499). Graduate figures, the same year are, reveals an even better pass rate among women, namely 60.8% (88 054 of 144 809) versus 39.2% (56 755) of men. 

 
A change in the mentality of men and about men is necessary.

No true love between resentful slave and frightened master

Fighting women, derogate women or dominate / trying to control women is part of the unconscious fear of men, wrote dear old Abraham Maslov way back in 1958. He added, "only as men become strong enough, self-confident enought, and integrated enought can they tolerate and finally enjoy self-actualizing women, women who are full human beings".

Maslov, A.H. 1958. Emotional blocks to creativity, 96-105. In Parnes, S. J. 1992. Source book for creative problem solving. Buffalo, NY: Creative Education Foundation Press.

[Originally published: Maslow, A H (1958) Emotional Blocks to Creativity. Journal of Individual Psychology, 1958, 14, 51-56.]

Double digit wedding anniversary —celebrating endurance or happiness?

Elizabeth Gilbert (2010), in Committed—"a work of non-fiction" (p. 281), delve into the notion of marriage and shares her own cognitive and emotional struggles. She writes beautifully, weaving facts and findings into her personal journey. She addresses marital resilience (pp. 123-4), reveals her own anguish and draws a clear distinction between matrimonial endurance versus contentment (p. 148)—concluding that people celebrating long-lasting marriages did not necessary loved their spouses (p. 252) or experiences happiness, but love their principles instead and therefore endured while loathing their spouses. Much further along her journey she insightfully depicts the contradictions (pp. 251-3) of American [western] society, summarised in the table below.

Secular humanism	Fundamentalism
Sanctity of individuality Democracy Equality, fairness Personal liberty, erotic Scientific reason Intellectual freedom, debate Open-mindedness, exploratory & room for doubt Multiculturism Sophisticated	Clannish, ancestral, tribalism Patriarchal, authoritarian, obedience Moralistic, respect & justice Ritualistic & faith Vows inviolable, faithful Collective more important than the individual Instinctively suspicious of outsiders Clarity about good and evil, right or wrong God is on 'our' side

She concludes (p. 251) that the legal code is mostly humanistic, whereas the moral code is mostly fundamental—causing tension.

Elizabeth made peace with herself by choosing what they (she and Felipe, p. 254) want …

Gilbert, E. 2010. Committed. London: Bloomsbery.

Vasopressin receptor gene of the trustworthy male partner

Size matters: There is only one part of a man's anatomy that a woman should worry about measuring, namely the length of his vasopressin receptor gene, when considering him as a potential mate (Gilbert, 2010: 108).

The "Dads or Cads" theory among evolutionary scholars suggests that there are two kinds of men, those who father children—the promiscuous, and those who raise children—the monogamist, trustworthy and reliable partners, sticking with one spouse, raise children and lends stability to households. At DNA level there is a chemical variation, the scantly-vasopressin-receptor-gened men are prone to dalliance, disloyalty and to seeking sexual variety—spreading their sperm (Gilbert, 2010: 107).

Both Eat Play Love and Committed are well worth reading.

Gilbert, Elizabeth. 2010. Committed. London: Bloomsbury.

"divinely ordained sphere" up his ...

Elizabeth Cady Stanton stated (1898) it so well in the introduction of The Woman's Bible—for centuries the Bible has been used to hold women in their "divinely ordained sphere"—the introduction is well worth the read. Although much has changed, in many instances women are still regarded as inferior to men. Even in good marriages women are expected to be subservient to her king, priest and profit.

"When, in the early part of the Nineteenth Century, women began to protest against their civil and political degradation, they were referred to the Bible for an answer. When they protested against their unequal position in the church, they were referred to the Bible for an answer. This led to a general and critical study of the Scriptures."

Genesis 1: 26-28 "And God said, Let us make man in our image after our likeness: and let them have … So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him: male and female image, created he them. And God blessed them …" (emphasis added) Stanton and committee argue, is "the sacred historian's first account of the advent of woman; a simultaneous creation of both sexes, in the image of God. It is evident from the language that there was consultation in the Godhead, and that the masculine and feminine elements were equally represented" (emphasis added). This piece of scripture, they argue is "the elevation of woman to her true position, as an equal factor in human progress" and that nothing about a "woman's subjection can be fairly drawn from the first chapter of the Old Testament".

Then follows a detailed explanation why the second creational tale cannot be taken seriously—worth the read—and this section is concluded with the words that it "cannot be maintained that woman was inferior to man even if, as asserted in chapter ii, she was created after him without at once admitting that man is inferior to the creeping things, because created after them".

There, members of my gender, acknowledge your woman as your equal or take your place as inferior to creeping things.

Equal partnership in marriage?

Marriage as an equal partnership is the goal of many enlightened couples today.

During the past week I had the privilege to take part in the selection of doctoral candidates at a local university. A young man told with pride about leaving for hospital after the selection process to take his wife and new born boy home.

His motivation for wanting to obtain a doctoral qualification, namely to improve his career advancement prospects, had been sound (in my opinion). However, his wife had been working and would return to her career in six months time. In response to my question about attending to the needs of the new born baby, he responded that his wife would take care of the baby and is in agreement with him pursuing a doctorate now.

A reviewer of Claire Rabin's book, Equal Partners Good Friends, makes the remark that marriage "equality is often limited by the ways that power and gender interact in the relationship, leading to dissatisfaction and ultimately the break up". She "examines the connection between inequality in marriage and marital distress". She draws "on extensive research and personal interviews in the UK, USA and Israel, she stresses the role of friendship in establishing a truly equal relationship". "Focusing on issues of gender, sex roles and power, she provides" insights for couples who are truly committed to pursuing equal partnerships.

  Available from among others Loot

He also remarked that he wants the best for his boy and that the child would know his daddy is called Doctor. It is a matter of opinion what would be best for a baby, an absent father due to literature review, empirical data collection, analyses of research data or documenting a dissertation.

My own late father turned down an offer of promotion to another subsidiary of the group of companies he worked for in order not to put strain on one of my siblings' final school exams. Unfortunately, to my knowledge, he had never been offered such an opportunity again.

But why do women often have to put their careers on hold to enable their equal (but different) partners' to further their careers?

Isn’t waiting perpetuating male dominance?

Nikiwe Bikitsha writes delightfully in her column High Heels, in the Mail & Guardian (South African) of 23-29 October 2009, about dating, mating and dominance (Download Dating habits Nikiwe Bikitsha MG 23-29 Oct09). She skilfully compares the dating habits of urban 'animals' with the mating habits in the wild. Although I love the piece I cannot help thinking if girl-pride is not perpetuating male dominance?

Nikiwe brilliantly sketches the scene of a group of city women on a game drive observing a lioness in oestrus wanting to mate

The oestrus cycle in female mammals is a hormonally controlled, regularly repeated stages by which the body is prepared for reproduction. In anoestrus the female reproductive apparatus is inactive; in pro-oestrus it becomes active; and in oestrus ovulation usually occurs and the female becomes receptive to males. Unless fertilization occurs, oestrus gives way to anoestrus as the cycle repeats.

Nikiwe observes that the lioness has now option than to wait and asks the question: "which woman wants to be the hunter?" and then states "it's not attractive and offends our pride". What pride?—Isn't it just perpetuating male dominance. I am of opinion that feminism and ultimately equality is about changing ways of doing, changing rituals. My Martie asked me about 13 years ago to marry her and I am very glad she did.

What voices?

The problem with socialisation is that we accept things because we become accustomed to them. The picture above is an example - Mikko Keskinen (2000) wrote:

"The logo of RCA-Victor records used to feature an image of a terrier keenly listening to "His Master's Voice" which a phonograph trumpeted, presumably with such high fidelity that the poor creature mistook it for his actual master. This sharp-eared man's best friend, a he-terrier called Nipper, epitomizes – besides the quality of analog sound reproduction – obedience, domestication, and the uneven distribution of articulatory power in the master/slave dialectics. A feminist critic is likely notice that the logo features this constellation in unmarked masculine terms: the he-dog stands for his whole breed and the master represents the human kind in general, thus including both sexes in the scope of the masculine gender. A patent feminist reading of such suppression of the feminine would suggest that patriarchy works exactly in this manner; the masculine master has not only the power to speak but also to command, and the servant holds the position of quiet submission."

This article is worth reading.

Mikko, K. 2000. Her Mistress's Voice: Gynophonocentrism in Feminist Discourses. Journal of International Women's Studies, 2(1), November 2000. Retrieved 16 October 2009 from http://www.bridgew.edu/SoAS/jiws/nov00/a_gynoft.htm

The endless battle of women about their space, bodies and freedom

The Baiji dolphin had been declared extincy, not endangered, but extinct! Read what Farhana Ismael states in the Mail & Guardian (SA) of 18-23 September 2009: